Whatsoever you do for the least of these...may get you arrested

Ever have something so shocking to say you couldn't think of any good way to lead up into it? Sometimes you just have to spit out the bad news? Well, here goes...

A 90 year old man in Fort Lauderdale, FL, is currently facing criminal charges for feeding the homeless in his community. 

Face of a ruthless criminal if I've ever seen one...

That's right, the community of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, in an effort to remove the "undesirables" from their thriving tourist communities, has placed sharp restrictions regulating where, when and how private individuals and charities can provide food for the less fortunate. Its so bizarre. I would have assumed that, if I wanted to hand out my own food, I would just need myself, some food, and some hungry people, not an entire base camp including portable toilets. 

While the mayor of Fort Launderdale, Jack Seiler, claims to have no ulterior motives behind these new laws, the depressing fact remains that more and more American cities are making it illegal for private citizens and charities to provide food for the homeless. A recent report by the National Coalition for the Homeless has found that over 20 American cities have already passed legislation severely restricting feeding the homeless, with similar laws pending in more than 10 other cities. 

I won't regurgitate the whole report, which can be found here, but there are a few points in it that should be highlighted. 

* Its been estimated that 1 in 6 Americans go hungry on a daily basis

* Through a variety of measures, including placing restrictions on public property usage, implementing stringent food safety regulations, and the harassment of private communities against assistance programs, more and more American cities and communities are penalizing providing food for the homeless. 

* All of these measures are driven by fear and common misconceptions about the nature of homelessness. While I won't try to address them in great detail, I do want to briefly touch on a few myths about feeding the homeless.

Myth #1- Feeding the homeless enables them to remain homeless

Robert Marbut, a consultant who works with cities on ending the problem of homelessness, sums up our first myth quite well, "street feeding is one of the worst things to do, because it keeps people in homeless status. I think its very unproductive, very enabling, and it keeps people out of recovery programs."

This belief reflects a radical misunderstanding of what it truly means to live in poverty. People who use the "enabling" argument assume that food is just some other privilege, and that withholding it is no different than a parent taking away a child's Gameboy in order to encourage him to do his chores. The fact remains that food is not a luxury; it is one of our most basic biological needs. 

A basic principle everyone who's taken Psych 101 should know is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. In short, this idea recognizes that people cannot meet higher level needs (ie. finding a new home, employment, rehab/ mental health treatment, etc.) until more basic needs are met (ie. food, water, shelter, clothing, basic health care/ hygiene, transportation, community support). Imagine that. Its almost like all those things you need to do well at your job each day, from an alarm clock, a shower, clean clothing, food, water, transportation, etc. are also needed by people living in poverty. Almost like we're all people or something....

Myth #2- By not publicly feeding the homeless, we discourage and minimize the problem

Do I really have to write a response to this one? Sure, you can try to sweep the homeless under the rug. Sure, you can try to herd them like cattle into the most undesirable parts of your cities. Sure, you can push and push and push until they are no longer tolerated next to our tourism sites or private businesses. But ignoring the problem only does two things. One, it makes us all feel less guilty for not helping because we don't have to directly witness the suffering of other people. And two, it increases the suffering of people living in poverty by removing yet another means of actually helping them. 

People are homeless for a variety of reasons, including physical disabilities, mental disabilities, economic hardship, addictions, etc., etc. This is a complex problem that is not going away anytime soon. However, by helping people meet their most basic needs, we alleviate some suffering and provide the safety and stability needed to change lives. 

So, assuming you agree with me that it is a horrific violation of people's rights and dignity to prohibit providing food for the poor, what can we do about it? As much as I would like to lead hundreds of people to Fort Lauderdale to host a large protest and publicly feed every homeless person we encounter, that is not a realistic option for most of us, myself included. 

But, just because we can't make grandiose gestures, just because we can't rewrite broken and cruel laws, doesn't mean we are powerless. If you don't like what the city of Fort Lauderdale is doing, then let them know about it. 

Thanks to the magic of Google, I found the address for the local government of Fort Lauderdale. I listed the information below. 

City Hall

100 North Andrews Avenue

Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301

Perhaps if a collective campaign can be organized, one in which Mayor Jack Seiler is bombarded with wave after wave of mail protesting the city's cruelty, the local government may cave under public pressure and media scrutiny. In particular, I believe an effective campaign could be organized around sending post cards to the Fort Lauderdale City Hall. Buying a post card, listing a personal reason why we should be helping poor people, and mailing it takes 10 minutes at the most. Its an easy way to spread a viral message. At the very least, we can bring more attention to this cause. Sure, nothing may change, but that's never been a good excuse to be inactive. Its never been an excuse to be apathetic. Let's change that, starting today. 

The New American Dream

"Daddy works for Jesus

Sister leads the band

Bobby's out of rehab

And Lizzy's going in

Mother's medicated

Nothing's what it seems

Suddenly she finds out the American dream"

Readers, gather round. I stand (or sit uncomfortably to be more accurate) before you elated to live in such a wonderful country, a land now laden with unprecedented levels of freedom and opportunity.

Sure, one could look at things like rising income inequality or an ever increasing militaristic and brutal police force and come to depressing conclusions, but anyone who would be upset by such paltry issues is clearly missing the bigger picture. 

After all, when we throw around phrases like "land of opportunity" or "American dream," what do we really mean? Well, I can't speak for everyone (as much as I may try), but to me it means that someone, given the right set of innate characteristics, skills, and circumstances, can achieve levels of power, wealth, and fame not otherwise imaginable. And I rejoice with you all today, readers, because a few recent events clearly illustrate that, if all the right circumstances are met, you too, can rise to a level of unfathomable power, fame, and fortune.

You'll have to forgive me for always using sports-related metaphors and stories, but in this instance I think the story of Ray Rice is appropriate. For those of you who don't know, Rice is a star running back for the NFL's Baltimore Ravens who recently was involved in a significant domestic disturbance with his girlfriend. For the offense of publicly assaulting a woman, Rice was penalized with a 2 game suspension. Once again, for those who don't follow the NFL, a 2 game suspension is the same penalty the league gave Brandon Merriwether for hitting another man too hard...during a game. Nothing like a good old slap on the wrist...

How ironic is it that Rice has been an outspoken opponent of bullying?

So what is my point here exactly? My point is that too often, our perception of the American dream is terribly short-sighted. Sure, fame and fortune are great, but what greater freedom, what greater power is there than the ability to act as one pleases without having to fear any consequences? Even more so, what is better than the freedom to violate and assault women at will without having to face any legal or personal repercussions? After all, those women folk are so confusing, looking really pretty one moment and wanting to have rights and think for themselves the next. Its unacceptable. If only more men would be willing to suit up, to grab their fedoras and mommy issues, and put women in their place again.

So I know what you're thinking now. Sure, maybe an NFL athlete can treat a woman like an object and get away with it, but that doesn't really apply to the average person. So much for your American dream. 

But don't give up yet, misogynists. You don't have to be in the NFL to be able to assault women without fear of consequences. Just look at Florida State University star quarterback Jameis Winston, who was recently accused of sexual assault. Not only did the victim's cries fail to elicit any real police investigation, they also failed to deter voters from giving Winston the Heisman trophy. 

Good thing everyone in life gets exactly what they deserve...

And in case playing college football may be unrealistic given your athletic skill set, surely you can at least play football in high school, right? I feel like almost any guy willing to put in enough hours in the gym and on the practice field could play high school football. Well, here's the good news. Even if you don't make it into the NFL, even if you can't play in college, playing high school football alone may be enough to give you the freedom to brutalize women. 

Don't believe me? Allow me to direct your attention to the Steubenville, Ohio rape case. Multiple high school football players were found to have sexually assaulted and dragged a drunk unconscious girl around at a party. After considerable public whining and social media activism, two of the players involved were eventually found guilty of rape. While these boys were not as fortunate as Winston, one of them, Malik Richmond, served 9 months in a juvenile detention facility and is currently back to playing high school football with his old team. When asked about this, his coach, Reno Saccoccia, ardently defended his decision, "I feel like we're not giving him a second chance...I feel like he's earned a second chance."

Are you not celebrating yet? Take a moment to realize the ramifications of these recent events. A young man violates a drunk girl at a party, serves a brief stint in a juvenile detention facility, and is back in time to return to his old life of high school football, partying, and being a general delinquent. Apparently 9 months spent not raping anyone is all it takes to earn a second chance after previously raping someone. And of course, this is all made possible because Richmond, like Winston, Rice, Roethlisberger, etc., has a unique skill set and the ability to thrive in a game that our country worships. 

Through their innate talents and hard work, these men expanded on the American dream in ways we could never have even anticipated.  They've earned more than money and power, fame and respect, but also the right to toss around, to use and to abuse women like the objects they apparently are. So if you've been fortunate enough to realize this dream as well, feel free to dish out a few illegal hits, as long as they aren't on the football field. Don't worry about your temporary "lapse in judgment," as long as it doesn't involve your ability to read a defense. And hey, we all know *wink wink* that women have a tendency to fall down flights of stairs. Just don't fumble that football, the real "object" of value. 

What a time to be alive. "And suddenly she finds out...the American dream."

Why We Need to Stop Telling People "To Count Their Blessings"

Well, if I'm going to return to blogging, I may as well return on a controversial note, hmm?

We are all raised in different environments, with different family and home lives, and taught different values. At the same time, however, one value that seems to be nearly universal is the importance of gratitude.

As children, we are taught to clean our plates. We're taught to be thankful for the opportunity to be dragged to school and doctor's appointments. After all, having adequate food/ water/ shelter/ education/ healthcare makes one incredibly fortunate, and the average American (myself included) has a great great deal for which to be thankful.

I want to make this clear: I have been tremendously, overwhelming blessed, and I am grateful for the many good things in my life. And I wholeheartedly believe that we should teach children (and many adults too for that matter) to cherish and to appreciate the good things that they have.

All that being said, I hate, absolutely despise, the expression, "Count your blessings."

Before I'm accused of being radically inconsistent, allow me to clarify. I hate the phrase, "count your blessings," and the philosophy accompanying it because, at their core, they make certain assumptions not only about how people should live, but also about how they should feel.

Think for a moment. What inspires a person to instruct someone else to count their blessings? Odds are the person being chastised is unhappy about some aspect of his/ her life. Perhaps the individual dared to express their dissatisfaction with a colleague, friend, or family member. And rather than actually taking the time to understand the person and seeking to relieve the suffering, the friend fires off some trite, dismissive cliche.

In the modern world, I would really like to believe that we are enlightened enough about mental illness to realize that the worst thing you can tell a suffering person is "What do you have to be depressed about?" I would like to propose that the second worse thing that you can tell a person who is hurting is to "count their blessings."

At their core, both phrases are the same. Both phrases jump to conclusions about a person, both phrases believe that, once you know a few basic details about a person like their style of living, you can effectively evaluate to what extent someone has the "right" to be unhappy or to feel depressed. Maybe we should develop a "count your blessings" calculator. Punch a few buttons and answer a question or two about life style to gauge if you have the moral right to be unhappy.

The reality of the situation is that people are unhappy and depressed for a litany of reasons that no one person can fully comprehend. Oftentimes, as is the case with mental illness, the "sources" of one's unhappiness are not understood or appreciated by the judging party. And so, for fear of being judged or criticized for their "ungrateful" nature, these people suffer in silence.

I've been wanting to write about this topic for a while, but today I was reminded of this issue after a meeting with a client. This client expressed that she never let herself be unhappy because of her strong faith. I respect faith and believe that it can serve as a powerful resource in people's lives. Even wonderful things like faith and its teachings on gratitude, however, can be horrifically distorted if we teach people that they don't have a right to be angry, sad, or frustrated because their life circumstances are not difficult enough to warrant those emotions.

If anyone is still reading, I'm sure there may be a reader or two who is scoffing at my choice of topic. All this fluffy theoretical talk about feelings from the bleeding heart social worker; too bad it has no real relevance or significance in the real world. How could any of this talk about feelings and catchphrases possibly matter?

In a word, stigma. No matter how many years pass, no matter how much medical or the social sciences advance, there remains a huge stigma surrounding mental illness, surrounding those most innermost thoughts and feelings that pop up in our heads. Gratitude, when taught in the right context, can be a fine thing. However, teachings on the importance of gratitude often carry with them a sense of shame and guilt associated with negative emotions like anger, frustration and depression. After all, if you were truly counting your blessings, if you were truly following God and being thankful, you couldn't possibly feel anything negative, you could never be that depressed.

Its the religious aspect of this teaching that particularly offends me. Anyone who is actually familiar with the Christian faith will note that Jesus spent far more time listening to people's stories and bringing healing than he did criticizing them for their despair. If the church could do the same, if it could rise above its incredibly primitive understanding of mental health issues, it could promote serious change and healing in its own ranks and beyond.

                    "Oh, you're blind. Bummer, at least you're not deaf. Count your blessings dude."


I would like to end this post on a more positive note.

Prominent American evangelist Rick Warren tragically lost his son to suicide over a year ago. Rather than wondering how someone with a good life and upbringing could do something so drastic, Rick Warren understands that mental illness is a real and pervasive problem. And he's decided to do something about it. Rick Warren has and continues to work to promote mental health education among pastors, priests and other religious officials. Like many hard working individuals in human service fields, he's found a way to use his own pain, his own most personal and difficult trials, to help and inspire others. I can only hope more people, in all communities, secular and sacred, learn to follow that example. If so, maybe I will just have one more blessing to count.

Here, There and Back Again

I wasn't sure if I would ever return to blogging. I have no desire to fill this entry with a detailed story about the past 7-8 months of my life, but I do feel a need to briefly note the reasons for my absence. Like most of the things I write here, I suspect this is more for myself than anyone or anything else.

Although I don't really discuss it here, the past two years of my life, my two years in graduate school, have been laden with difficulties, unpredictable changes, and disappointments. In many ways, my goals- personal, career, vocational- have not gone as I anticipated. I've been frustrated. I've been angry. I've been broken. And I'm still here, learning more with each new day, each new breath. You would be absolutely amazed how much you can learn to live without, how freeing it can be to just let go. Letting go of those demands, that rigid need to control every aspect of your life, to hold your life to an absolute timeline, won't kill you. I had to learn that. I've let go, but I haven't forgotten.  I never will forget, and I still strive.

Anyway, I promised that I would keep this short. Amidst many many other challenges, one that I encountered late last year was an employer objecting to the content of this blog. Perhaps they did not appreciate my bitter sarcasm/ satire, perhaps a few of my personal accounts were a bit too personal, perhaps they were just looking for another reason to let me go (it was an exceedingly more complicated and difficult situation than this post reflects as I have no desire to add other details here). Regardless, having my words closely scrutinized and judged by multiple strangers who have control over my educational/ vocational goals was certainly never my intent when I was writing this. I never imagined it would be an issue.

So my voice went silent. Well, it went silent in terms of public writing. I've written around 100 pages over the past year or so in an effort to understand, an effort to cope with all the chaos, all the disappointment, all the jaw-dropping Murphy's Law experiences that have come to characterize my life recently. But, no matter what happens, whether I thrive in my field or kill my career and flip burgers, I will not stop writing. I have no desire to hide. I'm not that man anymore. So I'm back. There is a role for prudence, and I will certainly monitor my online presence far more closely than I have in the past. But ultimately, I cannot and will never please everyone, and if I want to write something, I refuse to be silenced.

I've renamed this blog. I feel like it now more accurately reflects me and my experiences.