A Hearty Summer Sports Rant

So I always mean to blog more often than I do. I come up with new ideas, topics that push me to brink of sanity with frustration, and then I do nothing. Oh, I'll think about it a lot, even comment on a relevant Facebook status, but I just never seem to get around to actually blogging about it. In particular, this summer has left me with countless sports related topics that I can't help but rant about. I absolutely love sports, but I can't help but love them a little less when confronted with the unbelievable stupidity of...

1. The NCAA

I'll open with what is undoubtedly the most  frustrating league of American sports, the NCAA. For those who don't know, the NCAA is the largest collegiate sports association in the country, featuring the most prominent college's athletic programs in the country (USC, Ohio State, Florida, Texas, Oklahoma, Penn State, etc.) as well as several lesser-known programs. Bottom line, if you're talking about college sports, you're talking about the NCAA.

Now I know what you're thinking, what could you possibly have against college sports? All of those noble young college kids balancing their academic responsibilities with their love of athletics and competition. How can you hate a sports association based on integrity and hard work that continually reinforces their admirable values for young people and fans everywhere?

Except for the fact that absolutely none of this is true. Not a word. The vast majority of college athletics has nothing to do with the love of the game or integrity. A few astute readers may gather that this rant is being fueled in response to the horrific scandal at Penn State, where an entire program was shamed after it was discovered that college officials were hiding the fact that one of their assistant football coaches, Jerry Sandusky, was a child molester. Obviously the scandal at Penn State helps prove my point that the NCAA isn't what it seems, but the thing that no one seems to understand is that Penn State is only the symptom of a greater underlying disease.

Bottom line because I want to keep each segment relatively short, the NCAA is a hopelessly corrupt cash cow exploited by college officials and athletes at the expense of our national education and character. The NCAA is not about allowing young students a chance to compete; rather, its about young athletes exploiting the reality that they make colleges money to promote their future professional careers. The NCAA isn't Rudy; its Carmelo Anthony, a basketball star who used a Syracuse scholarship to promote himself in college for a year before entering the draft. Can someone please explain to me why we are giving scholarships to kids who don't even want to go to college and have no intention of, I don't know, actually learning anything while in college? It is an insult to the university to keep talented kids out who want an education while welcoming in cash cow, rental athletes. Should we really be surprised by the countless scandals that come out of a system so consumed with profit margins and wins? But hey, why should we really care about education or the safety of our children when our college athletes get all hookers they want?

And yes, there have been far more than 2 scandals. I just don't have all day to research them.

2. The Olympics

Rather than trying to shoot down the massive drone of protesters on this one, allow me to illustrate my point with a fun and simple game. Are you ready kids? Its time to play, "Guess which of these activities are Olympic events."

Trampoline

                                             Race Walking

Table Tennis

Rhythmic Gymnastics 

                                              Baseball

You don't have to like baseball (I can't stand soccer but I acknowledge that its a truly athletic sport that should be in the Olympics) but you cannot, cannot honestly argue that it requires less athleticism or has less of an international following than the other "events" posted.

But Chris, you're just another typical egocentric American, assuming that just because you and your country love a sport the whole world should have to accept it into its Olympics.

Thank you so much for making that terrible argument. Allow me to destroy you with facts and logic. First of all, over a quarter of major league baseball players are Hispanic, with a great quantity of future superstars hailing from countries like the Dominican Republic, Cuba, and Venezuela. But hey, apart from all of Latin America, every Major League Baseball player is an American. Allow me to list some of the most American-sounding names of Major League Baseball players:

Daiseke Matsukaka, Kosuke Fukudome, Chien Ming-Wang, Ichiro Suzuki, Yu Darvish, Shin-Soo Choo, Takashi Saito, Norichika Aoki, Hiroki Kuroda, Hideki Matsui, Wei-Yin Chen, Hong-Chih Kuo, Koji Uhehara, and these names are getting hard to spell, but you get the point.

Not to mention that there are over 20 Canadian players in MLB, including superstars like Joey Votto, Justin Morneau (another very white American sounding name), and Ryan Dempster.

So why isn't baseball in the Olympics? Its simple; a committee, with a heavy European influence, decided that baseball shouldn't be in the Olympics. And yeah, its true that baseball has had its issues, mainly with drug testing and the fact that Major League teams don't want to release their players to be in the Olympics, but this move is ultimately the result of Euro-centrism. The European-powered Olympic committee decided to screw over Asia, Latin America and the United States by taking our favorite sport away from us.

You know what? Screw you right back, Europe. If you won't pretend to like baseball, then I'm going to stop pretending to like the absurd activities you call sports. The Olympics suck. I'll take the World Series (or if I feel like actually being ethnocentric the Super Bowl) over your pseudo-sports any day.

Not that we should be surprised. Europe has quite the history of imposing its will on other nations.

3. Lolo Jones' critics

So yes, I know I just wrote that I don't care about the Olympics. But even I kinda care about some of the events (at least when baseball and preseason NFL aren't on). More importantly, I'm constantly being exposed to all of the hype and excitement of the Olympic games from the media. So imagine my surprise when I heard that a hard-working American athlete was being torn to shreds by the American media and even her fellow teammates? What could Olympic runner Lolo Jones possibly have done to incite such strong reactions (besides having a ridiculous name)?

Apparently Lolo's self-promotion choices, from posing in a tasteful semi-nude photo for ESPN magazine to being public about her choice to remain a virgin until marriage, have garnered her a tremendous amount of media attention. Some writers, like New York Times columnist Jere Longman, object to the fame of Lolo, claiming that this athlete is all looks and style over substance (even comparing her to Anna Kournakova).
When Jones (I'm going to start referring to her by her last name, as I can feel brain cells dying every time I type Lolo), responded to the criticism in an emotional rant, she garnered even more criticism.

In case you were getting bored by all the words, here's a picture of Lolo. Damn.

Sports commentator Jim Rome ripped into Jones' attempts to defend herself, "Boo-hoo, Lolo. It’s not the media’s job to support athletes. It’s your job as an athlete to be mentally tough and have much thicker skin. If you’re going to promote, hype and market yourself as much you did before the Games, you better be ready for the inevitable backlash… especially if you can’t back up all the junk you were running."

Now just wait a second. Just because she hasn't lived up to her personal goals and public expectations she's suddenly a mouthy failure? She's still qualified for and competed in multiple Olympic games, in addition to earning countless college honors and holding the American record for the 60m hurdles. Not to mention the fact that she has overcome multiple injuries including spinal surgery to compete in this latest games.I would hardly call that failing. And even if she was a failure, why does the media insist on creating sensational stories about athletes only to later criticize them for being too famous? Honestly, the only thing that her critics can truly bring against Jones is that she's freakin honest. She's had an interesting story (highlighted by her physical attractiveness) and she's not afraid to talk about it.

So shut up, Jim Rome, you pathetic excuse for a journalist. Everyone knows that you're the Rush Limbaugh or Keith Olberman of sports, a hate-monger who spews dissension and criticism because its the only marketable skill you have. Even your ESPN show was called Jim Rome is Burning, if only that were the literal case.

I seriously can't overemphasize how much of a hateful dick this guy is.

         
Now, I can at least cut Rome some slack because its his job to be hateful and controversial. He may not even enjoy it for all I know. But even Lolo's own teammates have harshly criticized her for all of the attention that she's receiving. A fellow Olympic runner, Kellie Wells, said to NBC after winning a medal, "Well, I think that, on the podium tonight, the three girls that earned their spot, that got their medals and they worked hard and did what they needed to do, prevailed. And that's all that really needs to be said."

You know what, Kellie, you're right, that really is all that needs to be said. Sure, I could pull other thinly-veiled insults toward Jones from this article if I wanted to, but your own words (in the context of when they were delivered) and the words of your teammate Dawn Harper clearly express the bitterness of human jealousy and hate at its worst.  Never mind the fact that you ladies won your medals and Jones didn't. Yet you still feel so insecure, petty and jealous. And that...that's just sad.

And there we have it, three sports stories that have outraged me for far too long. Now that the truth has been written (albeit in a place where no one will read it), perhaps I can have some peace. What's that, I can't watch some of the Jets preseason games because of the NFL Network? Gaaah...maybe next time.