"I never thought this schmuck was funny."
My newest moment of self contemplation was stirred by a particular Facebook friend's status, which referenced her search for graduate schools. As a second semester senior psychology major, this is something that I absolutely must do. And of course, for one illogical reason or another, I have thus far avoided the whole process like the plague. Why, you ask. That's a great and (since it involves human nature) complex question, one that if correctly answered should instantly merit the answerer their very own honorary psychology degree.
"This piece of printer paper neatly tied with a ribbon counts, right?"
At this point, I could not blame you for wanting to call me out as a lazy bum. There is a good deal of truth to that. Oftentimes, I have been blessed enough to get things done quickly and at the last minute. Case in point, when transferring out of my community college, I really only attempted to apply to 2 schools (and I only applied to the second school because I was wait-listed by the college I currently attend). Another example one might cite was how I chose to spend the majority of my time during the recent intercession period.
"If only studying chemistry counted as a quest..."
Regardless of any motivation issues, I think that I sometimes drag my feet when making important life decisions for the very same reasons that others rush into new opportunities. Excitement. I look at so many of my friends and others around me and they seem excited. They seem excited, stable, prepared and above all, obnoxiously fortunate.
I realize that I have no right to complain, but since this is my blog I'm going to anyway. It is frustrating to see friends who are genuinely passionate about their studies and future job opportunities while I'm forced to weigh confusing and contrary ideas like job practicality vs. interests, skill sets vs. passions, and settling vs. being unemployed.
Of course, I know many people change their majors and careers, and I know many others "settle" to an extent to make sure that they are able to provide for themselves and family. Which brings me to my next point. Although I am still quite young (just assume traditional college age and leave it at that), many of my friends have already entered into serious romantic relationships. I've already attended more weddings of high school friends than of actual family, and two more are coming up this summer. Despite all the negative stereotypes of the modern male as being lazy, noncommittal and exploitative, it is clear that some young guys (myself included) want something serious and meaningful in our relationships.
And don't get me wrong; I'm happy for my friends. But at the same time, what they see as simply the start of a new exciting life I see as the end of an era. I don't care who you are. I don't care what anyone's told you, and I don't care about how many contrary examples you can readily produce. Guys in serious relationships are consumed by those relationships, and their other relationships suffer to an extent. I realize that this is simply inevitable (people only have so much time and dominant relationships use up the time first), but that doesn't make the consequences any more desirable for the affected friends.
"To the groom, congratulations you spoiled bastard..umm...I mean dear friend."
I guess if there's a point to be made from this depressing cynical rant its this: "I want answers." Everyone tells me about how being single equals freedom and how college represents the chance to study and pursue any ideas and careers that you want. Honestly, that's cute and fun and [insert bland meaningless adjective of choice here] I guess, but I could care less at this point about my freedom. All of the examples and stories I mentioned involve a natural transition into full-on adulthood, a phase that is supposed to represent self growth and discovery. Well, where is my self growth and discovery hiding? Where are my hidden passions and brilliant plans, super career and blushing bride? I know that I'm not entitled to any of these things, but I sure would love to know where to start looking for them.
Now that I think about it, this entry was incredibly whiny and not very funny. I'm sorry about that; I genuinely do try to provide interesting rants in a humorous fashion. Alas, I may have struck out this time. Hmm..what to do?
How about this? Assuming you've actually gotten this far, reader, simply take a moment to consider how absurd it is that I, a young man blessed with a wonderful family, many friends, many luxuries, and the opportunity to go to college would actually take over an hour of his time to scream and pout at the heavens for even more.
There, there's your humor. And once again, as the good host that I am, I provided it at my own expense. As for my witty lesson, well its currently past 2 in the morning so don't expect too much. I guess I would just say that when we feel shorted in life its important to remember the many blessings, people, and beliefs that shape us and provide stability even when life changes or starts to get a little crazy.
