"We Must All Hang Together, or Most Assuredly We Will All Hang Seperately."

Once again, I must offer my apologies for my complete lack of posts over the last few months. Ever since I actually started doing productive things with my time, aka working and taking classes again, I have found that I am hard pressed to waste as much time as I once did. Its been challenging to find the time to add to my blog.

Almost a week ago, President Obama once again interrupted our lives with a prime time speech, this time to back his new health care plan and admonish anyone who dares question him. During his speech, the typical signs of American partisanship were present, with the majority of Congress standing and clapping after every sentence while a few protesting GOP remained seated and fiddled with their Blackberrys. This is pretty normal; and let's be honest, it makes it far easier for us to pretend we actually recognize the different politicians and their political ideologies.




"No, no, This doesn't sit well with me at all."



"I clearly hang on to the President's every word, and only hope I some day have the privilege of sacrificing my firstborn on the alter of Obama."


What is not normal or accepted is shouting down the leader of the free world during his address to Congress. Apparently South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson never got this memo. In response to President Obama's comment that his new health care plan would not assist illegal immigrants, Wilson shouted out "You Lie!" Apparently Wilson also never got the memo declaring Obama divine, and thus, incapable of deception.

If you haven't caught on that I'm being sarcastic, well then, I'm sorry, but no one can help you.

Anyway, one can picture my internal conflict over Rep. Wilson's outburst. I don't think winning an election or taking an oath guarantees the all-encompassing wisdom, thick pockets, or even trustworthiness that the American populace attributes to Obama without question. However, at the same time, I believe the office of president deserves a certain level of respect, and if the tables were turned I would be outraged by Wilson's blatant disrespect.

I think its fitting that this incident occurred around the 8th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. It just goes to show that no matter how "enlightened" we
dare think of ourselves as Americans, we've really learned nothing.

I mean, does it really take a national tragedy for us to get along? We're so splintered as a society. There's hundreds of issues and a party to promise what you want to hear concerning each one. These problems and divisions aren't new. But right after 9/11, none of them seemed to matter.

One of the most powerful images of this unity was President Bush throwing out the first pitch in the 2001 World Series at Yankee Stadium.



This may seem like an odd choice, but it was the ultimate representation of American strength and unity. It told the world, amidst the thousands of cheers, that our way of life: our freedom, our unity, and yes, our game, would continue no matter what.

By no means should this unity be achieved through the sacrifice of personal opinions and beliefs; I simply ask that we at least assume the other side of the political aisle also has the best interests of their country at heart. This may not always be the case, but really, Rep. Wilson, change can be achieved in more civil ways than shouting matches. Just look at the President.

And to the President, GOP attacks aren't just fear-mongering. Perhaps we really do feel that a public option represents too much government control over our lives. Does that make us worse Americans? Keep that in mind the next time you try to dismiss us.

Wow, this whole civility thing is more difficult than I thought. Oh well, I guess if children can do it the rest of us will figure it out eventually. Rep. Wilson, go to your corner and stay there until you can learn to play nicely with the liberals.

Our priorities are blind...Justice can see quite well, thank you very much.

First of all, I would like to apologize to my one and a half readers who were undoubtedly quite jaunted by my lack of blogging over the past few months. What's that? Oh my, I'm so sorry. I had no idea...Make that my one reader. Anyway, some recent absurdities helped me once again realize the importance of my blog, the straight jacket containing our constantly crazy, babbling world from the brink of utter destruction.

Before that little tirade actually sinks in and you stop reading, allow me to get to my story...

Without a doubt, any NFL fan remembers former QB Micheal Vick, who was all but crucified by PETA for running a dogfighting ring. As a result of his horrific maltreatment of animals, he all but ruined his NFL career and was sentenced to serve 23 months in prison.


"PETA thinks I'm black Hitler!"

The story that many NFL fans have not heard, however, centers around Browns wideout Donte Stallworth. "What happened with Donte Stallworth?" you ask. "No one told me anything about him. Oh, don't tell me he hurt poor doggies too."


Micheal Vick doesn't love you.

Not to fear, random fan or PETA. Donte Stallworth is not Micheal Vick. Nah, all Stallworth did was run some poor guy over during a drunken joyride. Sure, the guy died, but he wasn't famous or furry, so who gives a crap, right?


Mario Reyes, you're not important enough to picture here...Let's see the cute dog again.

Well, this particular writer certainly does. And seeing how justice is supposed to be, oh I don't know, just, I naively assumed the criminal justice system would as well.

Imagine my chagrin and disillusionment when I learned of the punishment for accidentally killing a man: 30 days in prison.
"Wait, that's not years, or even months?!?!"
No, poor fool forced to live in this twisted time, its not.
"And he really did kill a guy when driving drunk?"
Yep, yep, he most definitely did.

To make matters worse, news sources indicate that Stallworth received his lessened sentence in part because of a financial settlement that he reached with the victim's family. Call me old-fashioned all you like, but I also cling to the silly notion that a crime is a crime, no matter how thick the criminal's pockets are.


"I have money, so I can do whatever the hell I want. Better watch out for me!"

Now its true that Stallworth also got his license suspended for life and has to serve 8 years under probation, but considering the average sentence of 10 years for DUI manslaughter, I'm not exactly shedding any tears for the guy.

And all of this, of course, comes in the backdrop of Micheal Vick's harsh sentence all but mandated by PETA militants and the harsh criticisms of Plaxico Burress' illegal gun ownership by NYC mayor Bloomberg. So are we giving athletes preferential treatment or not, America? Or do we simply not care about DUI manslaughters? I find that hard to believe, given the nation's outraged response to the tragic death of Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart at the hand of a drunk driver earlier this year.

While the stories of OJ, Ray Lewis, Leonard Little and countless others reaffirm the reality that justice is never blind and usually slanted in favor of those with money and fame, I think we have another problem here, a problem of misplaced priorities as a society.

Meet PETA, a shining example of just how misplaced our priorities actually are (I think we just flat out lost our priorities at this point). After the Micheal Vick incident, PETA ruthlessly hunted and hounded this man in a manner they would have deemed cruel had Vick been an animal.


"You're not Bob Barker. Only he has earned the right to tell us who to neuter!"

Before I continue, I would like to clarify that I DO NOT condone dogfighting. While man is given dominion over this world and its animals, needless cruelty is needless cruelty, and I will not defend the actions of Micheal Vick. However, any organization that tells me I don't have the right to eat a hamburger or wear a wool shirt clearly has lost their perspective. I mean, in a chaotic world filled with human starvation, war, murder, and injustice, and you rant about "Kentucky Fried Cruelty" and expect to be taken seriously?

In their most ridiculous move yet, PETA criticized President Obama for swatting a pesky fly during an interview. Not only that, but they are actually sending the president a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Cather, a sinister device designed to preserve the lives of all those pesky, disease-carrying, picnic-ruining insects. But hey, I'm sure if you're really sweet to that poor little mosquito, he won't give you West Nile. Oh silly silly PETA, how America and I laugh at you.



"I'm slowly plotting your demise."


Or at least we would be laughing if not for the 2 million Americans who actually agree with you. Just read a few of the comments on their website, and tell me you're not seriously frightened about the future of our country.

"How come you get put in jail for murdering a human, but murder an animal and it's fine?"

I imagine Michael Vick wishes he killed a man; the sentence would have been lighter.


"Animal Rights must be part of the school curriculum and be incorporated in the coursework of law students in all universities globally!"

But will the animals have to take the stand? We need a cow interpreter in Courtroom 2!


"Animal rights should be protected and enshrined in the Constitution in every country in the world."

Why don't we make sure all nations respect basic human rights in their constitutions first? Just a thought.


"animals deserve to have rights more than humans do, because they are never going to have bad intentions, just like humans do"

So you're saying that animals are actually better than we are because they never are violent? Oh, wait...


"Everything living, has a soul. Respect the Life and rights of all creatures. Cohabitate with life. The planet and its genus."

Are you advocating bestiality?


In response to PETA's unexplainable success, I advocate the formation of PETP, People for the Ethical Treatment of People. Maybe we can actually accomplish some good. Also, I want to form another group with the initials PETA, People Eating Tasty Animals. I know its an old joke, but imagine how pissed the animal rights activists would be when they try to search for the website of their organization and instead come across a picture of some fat guy eating a bacon cheeseburger.


"I'm going to single-handedly bring down PETA, not because I want to eat all this food, but because I feel called to use my humble fork to end the madness."

In the meanwhile, make it your goal to combat the insanity. Eat a hamburger today, and only buy certified wool or leather clothing.

Pretty cool, just don't see the movie

It's not very often that I get fan art, so I thought I would display a few works of my blog's one confirmed regular reader. One fan and counting...Yes!






For sending pieces of fan work, or contacting the author of this blog, please send to: Stephdaddy4ever@yahoo.com.

The Greatest (and Most Hysterical) Game of All

It's March. The snow is melting, the weather is warming, and its time for baseball. That's right, thanks to the only good idea of the used-car-salesman-turned-senile-old-man-turned-commissioner-of-baseball (I F***** LOVE DASHES, AND CAPITALS!) Bud Selig, we can now enjoy the rich crack of the bat and pop of high heat as early as March via the World Baseball Classic.

"Where am I?"



That's right, I said baseball, not college basketball. For while March Madness might prompt many an American parent to sell their children into slavery in a third-world country to afford tickets during these unbearably tough times (see previous entry), the rest of the world remains undaunted. Props to Europe for finally getting something right, now we need to have a serious conversation about soccer...

There are many reasons as to why the rest of the world embraces baseball: the history of the game, its mix of leisure and strategy that truly sets it apart, or its unique ability to, every once in a while, send us to our knees in a seizure of uncontrollable laughter. May I present the following...

For those of you who don't know, the World Baseball Classic is an 16-team international baseball tournament. Teams include the US, Canada, Mexico, South Africa,as well as several Latin American teams, a few Asian teams and a European team or two. While many of these teams have legitimate players from major league rosters, some teams do not, prompting the development of gutter teams such as South Africa, Italy, the Netherlands, etc. The tournament is also highlighted by a few powerhouses, like the Dominican (where they have more MLB All-Stars per capita than people), Venezuela (Hugo Chavez is apparently a tremendous pitching coach), the United States, and Japan. In any other sport besides baseball, these powerhouses would continually dominate and win every time. Cue Sidney Ponson...


Yes, this guy, I swear.

Yes, Sidney Ponson, just the kind of mediocrity a nation that passes out free drug needles needs, was slated to start for his Netherlands against the heavily-favored Dominican Republic. This is the same Sidney Ponson who boasts an ERA around 5, bouncing around from team to team like uniforms run out of style.

But wait, the story get better. The obese mediocre pitcher who looks kind of like one of your old drinking buddies may have in fact been one of previously-mentioned buddies. Ponson has been charged with multiple DUI's, and once, in truly angry drunk fashion, was arrested for assaulting a judge. That's right, he somehow managed to get arrested in the Netherlands! Science has yet to show us how this is possible; for now, it remains a mystery like the properties of light or why people listen to celebrities for advice (a celebrity teaching us the importance of self-esteem, does anyone else see the irony?).

"If you don't vote for Barack Obama, you shall all burn in hell...and you will never know what book to read!


Anyway, in the midst of facing one of the best teams in the world, the Netherlands found it fitting to call on your old beer buddy to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. And guess what, he actually did it, pitching four decent innings on way to securing a 3-2 Netherlands victory. Only in baseball could this happen. Oh, sure, there have been underdogs before, but how many of them involve a character this frequently hammered before?


"I almost make movies believable."

In light of this, let's take a moment to truly appreciate the one place where hysterical underdog stories actually happen, on the baseball diamond.

PLAY BALL!

In these times...

Be honest, how many times in the past few months have you heard an expression that either began or ended with the phrase "in these times" in reference to the economy? I'm guessing about 787 times, once for each billion of taxpayer dollars that President Obama is throwing at the "worst economic disaster since the Great Depression." How many times have you heard that one?

But seriously, the only thing more absurd than Obama's stimulus package ($288.3 billion of taxpayer dollars going into tax provisions; isn't that reasoning a little circular?) are the people who are most fervently trumping the downfall of America's economy: the media. Yes, poor Brian Williams over at NBC, struggling to feed his family, only able to take five vacations this year. Didn't you know? In this economy, his ten million annually only goes for about ten thousand.

But the absurdity doesn't stop with the mainstream media. Now sports media is getting involved. Just listen to the clip from UConn coach Jim Calhoun's press conference. Know that its okay to laugh; just don't be too loud. You wouldn't want your neighbors, who are no doubt starving by candlelight, to hear and think you are being insensitive in these current times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xokthY5zuPU

One could choose from many different colorful or special words to describe Calhoun's demeanor
when asked about his $1.6 million salary, but was this question not ridiculous? After all, no one asks Brian Williams to hand over some of his $10+ million. Does he get a pass for pretending to be the common man, moaning about our economic troubles like a corner street meth-addicted hobo?

And let's not forget we have the Oscars tonight, where movies few people actually liked (I could write an entire selection on how The Dark Knight should win best picture over a gay politician and Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Indian Edition, but any poll would prove my point just as easily) are awarded in a festival of Hollywood glamor, gluttony and extravagance. If the media is going to harass a college basketball coach who works harder and faces just as much scrutiny as any actor, shouldn't we also have a problem with the entertainment industry as a whole? Maybe its just me, but I have a bigger problem with Will Smith making $80 million for pretending to fly and fight zombies (separate movies, although how cool would it have been to combine the two?) then I do a college basketball coach earning a couple million here and there performing a job that actually requires hard work and responsibility. So if the media is going to be pointing any fingers during this economic apocalypse, perhaps they should start by pointing at themselves and the entertainment industry in general.

Or maybe we should all just suck it up, accept the fact that there's a recession, and move on. Really, people, if we can still afford $10 movies, $5 coffees, and $1,000 concert tickets, I think we'll survive.

A Moment of Reflection: Unwrapping the stale box of chocolates that is Valentine's Day

So here it is at last, Valentine's day. A day of love...or so they want us to think. The reality is that the only sound louder than the moans of those poor single fools in therapy today are the expletives being issued from millions of guy's mouths who forgot what today was and are now destined to spend their next Valentine's alone as a result (It's not too late, a Yahoo search for "last minute valentine gifts" only brought up about 24 million results). So where did all this chaos originate?

According to history.com, Valentine's day was another example of a pagan holiday (with some very interesting and not-so-loving practices) that the church tried to Christianize, naming February 14th St. Valentine's Day. We all realize, of course, how much a day designed to honor a martyred saint who illegally married young couples in ancient Rome has to do with the commercial farce of today (180 million roses, 36 million boxes of chocolate sold, and how much brought in annually? Almost 14 billion? I'm sorry; how much?) The answer of course is that they have practically nothing to do with each other. If anything, Saint Valentine would probably be a little upset to see his day (like Christmas and Easter) not only tainted, but completely saturated in the poison of consumerism.

But getting to my main point, do we even need a Valentine's Day? Last time I checked, the only two saints' days non-Catholics observe are Valentine's and Patrick's. And no offense to St. Patrick, because he was pretty awesome, but the only reason non-Catholics even celebrate his day is so they have an excuse to dress in green and get tanked like Irishmen. So as petty as it is, there would appear to be a benefit to celebrating St. Patrick's Day. But what about Valentine's Day? Valentine's Day now is nothing more than a way for couples to buy their way out of the guilt that comes from neglecting each other the other 364 days of the year. Of course, Hallmark, Russel Stover's, and countless jewelry stores are all the more happy to oblige, for a premium fee.

Don't believe me? Just listen to JC Penney, that reminds us guys to not "be left in the doghouse" this Valentine's Day. The ad proceeds to display a $114.99 piece of jewelry that will apparently save us from previously mentioned fate. What if I only had a hundred dollars to spend, JC Penney? What then? This whole situation reminds me of that old Christmas story where the husband sells his watch to buy his wife combs and she sells her hair to buy him a watch chain. Besides being incredibly ironic in a cruel way, how else would this story have ended had JC Penney got her hands on it? I'm thinking murder, or at least a bitter divorce that forever scars their many children and drives them to become serial killers (so still murder, just second generation).

So here's my Valentine's Day thought. How about couples actually learn to appreciate each other year round, thus voiding the need for a day that just makes single people or people who have lost their significant others feel like crap. Is that such a radical idea?

And while we're at it, how about we add South Korea's singles day, Black Day, to our calender of celebrated events. I figure that the pasta business, like flowers and chocolate, could use a little help. After all, it is one of the few businesses in America that is not being thrown millions of tax dollars by our new president. Where's the stimulus package for my spaghetti?

There are a two good things to Valentine's Day, though:
1. Discount chocolate in the following days.
2. I'm definitely saving up and buying a florist's shop. $120 flowers? I thought extortion was illegal.

For more Valentine's fun, check out Cracked's take on the day.

Post-Super Bowl XLIII

Well, people, I hope you realize how good we have it. Two great Super bowls in a row, and this one was followed by one of the best episodes of the Office ever. The only downside was the complete and utter collapse of the Cardinals defense on the last drive in the fourth quarter, but at least the game was close and entertaining. And although the collection overall wasn't impressive, we had a few good commercials too. In case you missed it, here's a few of the best:

A Teleflora ad designed to guilt every guy into buying only the absolute best floral arrangements (Is it that accursed Valentine's Day already?).

One of the best Super bowl commercials ever...But do I really want Doritos or just a blunt object to throw at my boss?

A few Bud Light gems:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnfCQbZEXEo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQvqkadg9JI

And of course, that one particularly arrogant commercial that promises its product, no matter how completely irrelevant or essentially useless, will solve all your problems.

So all in all, it was a pretty good Super bowl, even if the rousing underdog with the comeback veteran quarterback fell a little short of pulling the upset.

Very disturbing

A friend recently showed me some videos from "The Pioneers of Tomorrow," an indoctrination-fest by Hamas that basically teaches children the same values we try to instill to our children, like obedience to authority, integrity, and oh yeah, don't ever surrender the homeland to the terrorist Jews. Wait, What?

No joke. Just some genuinely scary stuff.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeii225G-HM&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2J3my3pOIc&eurl

Ok, but wait Chris, I'm sure you're just freaked out because you don't understand the culture. There's nothing wrong with them wanting to instill a nationalistic pride in their children. After all, don't we do the same thing?

First of all, no we don't, as is evidenced by all the America-haters who, on election day, the greatest and most significant day in the history of mankind (according to Time) can't put aside their bitterness long enough to even feign civility for the departing president. Really, people, "Nah, nah, nah, nah, hey, hey, hey, goodbye?" That's a sports song, not to be used for political battles. Am I the only one who remembers the Titans?

Second, there's a huge difference between teaching children to love their country and teaching children of the glory of being martyred for defending the homeland against the "despicable, criminal terrorist" Jews. Hamas may have just passed Hitler and Stalin as the most successful at brainwashing children with hate. These very pathetic attempts to imitate American cartoon classics like Mickey Mouse (come up with your cartoon character Hamas, maybe a lovable monkey with a funny hat and bell and an exploding organ grinder) would be funny if they weren't such a disturbing example of hate and intolerance.

Or this little gem right here, where children learn that Allah's punishment for theft is that the criminal's hands be cut off:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GPwAs2otWc&eurl

Yeeaaah, That's really how I want my children to understand God.

But, hey, we have to embrace all cultures, and war is never the answer (we just need Jimmy Carter and his repertories of stellar negotiating skills), and Israel has no right to defend its homeland, even if rocket bombs are killing civilians. Yeah that makes sense.

Think about it this way, if only Israel or Palestine could survive this conflict, which nation would you feel safer with as an ally in the Middle East?

About Me

Hi! I'm Chris, and this blog represents but a few snapshots of my life and experiences. Topics of interest that are discussed range wildly from sports to politics to psychology/mental health, and life experiences.

As a side note, About Me sections seem so pointless. Even reading everything I've posted on this blog over the past 4+ years will still only yield pieces of who I am, what I believe (or have believed in the past, I've changed a lot in 4 years), and what I find interesting/ noteworthy. People are too complex to sum up with a few spare adjectives here, a profession or personality type there. But we all have a story to tell, and here is mine.