-Joe DiMaggio
I'm back. See, I told you that I wouldn't forget you, readers. At worst, I'm only moderately neglectful, like a parent who leaves their kid at the mall for half a day but then feels incredibly guilty about it and gets the kid ice cream, making it all okay.
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| "That is your official policy, right?" |
Anyway, I'm certainly not here to talk about parenting. Nor am I here to hit you with my weak attempts at satire or conversations of a deep philosophical or theological nature. Nope, today we're having fun. I'm back for a sports rant.
So ESPN the Magazine recently released its 2013 Franchise Issue, which ranks sports franchises across all major American sports. Apparently the rankings are supposed to consider a complex array of factors, including fan experience, cost of attending games, ownership, players, team success, etc.
To make a long (and terribly written) story short, ESPN the magazine really does not like New York sports teams. In fact, they ranked my beloved Jets as the 121st out of 122 considered franchises. Keep in mind this list extends beyond simply the NFL and at least included MLB, NBA and NHL teams.
To all my New York friends who found it amusing that the "baby brother" Jets once again got bashed by a major media outlet, take a moment to consider that the article also ranked the NY Giants 66th, the NY Knicks 102nd, the NY Rangers 76th, and THE NEW YORK YANKEES 87TH.
When I was contemplating how to write a response to this article, I initially felt overwhelmed, as literally every single claim/ ranking that ESPN the Magazine made about NY teams are so blatantly absurd that they can't even be intelligently defended. The writers of this article somehow found a way to be subjectively wrong. Their "opinions" ring as hollow and biased as Kim Jong-Un trying to convince the West that his people are wealthy and thriving, despite blatant and overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
But now that I've somehow managed to compare sports journalists to dictators (whoops), I probably should at least offer some evidence for my viewpoints. Let's start with the easy example, the New York Yankees.
The New York Yankees (Rank 87/122)
Why It's Absurd: For this example, I really feel like the burden of proof should lie with the article authors, but I'll quickly point out a few reasons as to why the Yankees should have been ranked in the top 10 sports franchises.
The New York Yankees are the most storied franchise in the history of North American sports. And no, this isn't just a proud New Yorker talking, just a sports fan with a somewhat functional brain. The first World Series was played in 1903, meaning that MLB has had about 110 AL/NL Championship Series. The Yankees have played in 40 World Series, winning 27 of them. That's right, the 87th best American sports franchise has won almost a quarter of its league's championships. I think its also fair to point out that ESPN's number one franchise, the NBA's Memphis Grizzlies, has never won a championship or even made it to a championship game. Also, they have about 80 years of less sports history, but who's counting?
I would assume at this point, the authors might defend their claim by noting the high prices of getting a ticket to a Yankees game. Fine, let's talk economics, shall we? The Yankees are the 4th wealthiest franchise in the world, and they have the 2nd highest payroll in baseball. Yankee detractors may be quick to note that all the Yankees' money and supposed success will not be getting them to the playoffs this year, but the very fact that people gloat about the Yankees failing is a testament to their astonishing run of sustained success. The last time the Yankees missed the playoffs was 2008; before that the last time was 1994. At least with the Yankees you're getting quality play with your money; Cubs tickets aren't cheap either and they haven't won a World Series in over a century.
J-E-T-S! Jets! Jets! JETS! (Rank 121/122)
Why Its Absurd: And now things get a little more challenging. I understand that, between the bombastic coach, questionable front office moves, and the complete lack of anything remotely resembling offense, its easy to take pop shots at the Jets. I'm not arguing the Jets should be in the top 10 or even necessarily the top 50 sports franchises, but they deserve better than a bottom 2 finish. Here are a few reasons why.
Since I mentioned the Yankees' history, lets start there with the Jets. In terms of playoff success, you can't even begin to compare the Jets to the Yankees, or even to the more iconic NFL franchises like the Steelers, 49ers, Patriots, or Cowboys. But, unlike 14 current NFL franchises, the Jets have won a Super Bowl. That shouldn't mean everything, but it has to mean something.
But, even assuming you don't care about Super Bowl III and would rather discuss current success, I'd be happy to beat you at that game too. Under the Rex Ryan era, the Jets have played some of the best defense in football (finishing 1st, 3rd, 5th, and 8th in total defense from 2009-2012 respectively). They made it to the AFC Conference Championship in both 2009 and 2010, and barring a few plays and an awful quarterback, could have easily won a Super Bowl. In 2011, they were average (8-8) and in 2012 they were slightly below average (6-10). Yet none of this stopped those incompetent bastards from ESPN from ranking the Jets dead last in their NFL Power Rankings before the season began. I'll be the first to acknowledge the Jets have issues, but if you honestly try to argue to me that the Browns (who decided to trade their one franchise player to rebuild two weeks into the season), or the Raiders, or the Panthers, or the Jaguars (who could only muster 3 field goals of offense against the freaking Raiders) are currently more successful franchises than the Jets you are insane.
Even though they frequently mock the Jets as being the little brother, I'll be a good sport and offer a brief defense for the NY Giants (ranked 66/122) too. The Giants have won 4 Super Bowls, including 2 in the last 6 years. They have an established quarterback, coach, defensive line, and fan base. They may not often be an elite franchise (they have a knack for sneaking into the playoffs), but they are certainly worthy of respect.
So why would I bother write this? Even assuming that I have you convinced at this point, why should anyone care enough about sports to write a lengthy critique of ESPN? Feel free to laugh, but regardless of one's occupation, I think there is something to be said for maintaining professional integrity. Everyone is entitled to their opinions; that's a huge part of what makes sports so much fun. But there's a certain point where personal biases and fan commitments overwhelm one's ability to professionally analyze sports. You'll note that I included a ton of sources and facts in this article, lest I be accused of being a "homer" who just can't handle his teams being criticized. You don't have to believe me, but if a New York based media outlet published a franchise list and placed the Patriots or Red Sox near the bottom, I would also be offended. If you're going to do something, whether its as important as curing AIDS or as frivolous as writing about grown men playing games, then do it right. ESPN writers owe it to their readers to hold themselves to a higher and more professional standard. All right, that's it for the soapbox. I have a crazy hunch that writing this article will prove to be superfluous anyway, as our NY sports teams will prove themselves to be more than adequate this year and for years to come.
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