Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Michael Scott: The Client

For a project in my Psychological Assessment class, I had to choose a person (real or fictional) and write up a psychological evaluation as if this person was my client. That's right, one of my homework assignments over the past few days has been watching The Office, researching The Office, and taking notes on...you guessed it, The Office. I wonder why all the engineer and physics guys on my hall tell me I have an easy major? Anyway, I was proud of the end result, and thought I'd share it with my blog audience on the hopes that you might enjoy it (and yes, each quote and event is taken from actual episodes, it is possible that I have a problem).




Michael is a male in his mid-40’s. The client is in a relationship with a coworker. Client has worked at Dunder Mifflin Paper Company for over ten years, first as a salesman and currently as regional manager at a branch in Scranton, Pennsylvania. He is dressed neatly in a suit and tie. Hair is short, dark, and neatly combed.

Client has a frequent history of erratic and sometimes inappropriate behavior, for which he is attending this session. In particular, he has shown difficulty maintaining control of his office. The client reluctantly recounted an instance in which he had to choose an employee to fire; before finally making a decision, he attempted to pass the undesirable responsibility onto another employee. In a similar instance, he described his attempt to pass the responsibility of choosing a new healthcare plan (one that would involve cuts and thus be an unpopular decision with his employees) onto a fellow employee. Nevertheless, his recent behavior has shown some improvement, as evidenced by his successful handling of an insubordinate employee. His speech is energetic and enthusiastic, but not forced.

The client’s language is frank and often of questionable taste. Although it is always meant in a humorous context, he has struggled in the past to maintain professionalism in the workplace, often making racist, sexist, or homophobic jokes. In this one session, client used the expression, “That’s what she said” on seven different occasions. Client’s mood is usually upbeat, although he can quickly turn negative and defensive if he is challenged. Client’s affect is appropriate for mood and thought content. Thought progression appears normal, although client is quick to change topics or make a joke if presented with an opportunity.

His thought content is driven by a need to be both liked and the center of attention. The client described this need, “When you have somebody’s attention and their eyes are lighting up because they are very interested in what you have to say, that is a great feeling.” When asked about his personal philosophy as a boss, client responded, “Would I rather be feared or loved? Um…easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” The client also detailed a difficult past that appears to still influence his thoughts and behavior. He detailed his need to “do better” at an employee’s wedding because of an embarrassing incident involving himself as the ring bearer when his mother married his stepfather. The client also brought in a video of himself as a child appearing on a television program. In the video, when a younger (possibly six, seven, eight) version of the client was asked about what he wanted to be when he grew up, the client responded, “I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends, and no one can say no to being my friend.” Although the client has definitely made some progress, like currently being in a positive relationship, feelings of insecurity, an overbearing need to be liked and a need to be the center of attention still impact the client’s thoughts.

Although there is no evidence of hallucinations, his perception of reality is still often skewed. During the session, the client described an incident where he accidently hit another employee with his car, fracturing her pelvis. He seemed unwilling or unable to accept responsibility for what he had done, at what point saying, “Oh, I am taking responsibility. And it is up to me, to get rid of the curse that hit [name of employee] with my car. I am not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” In addition to not being able to always accurately perceive the world around him, the client also often fails to understand and perceive himself. He purchased for himself a mug that says “World’s Best Boss” but maintains, despite evidence to the contrary, that it reflects the way his employees view him.

The client appears conscious and awake, even vibrant, and is oriented to time, place, person and situation. The client is sometimes able to maintain proper attention and concentration when he desires, but he can often be distracted as well. He described pretzel day at the office, where his desire to get a free pretzel kept him from getting any work done. Client’s memory is intact. He is able to recall both past events (like his mother marrying his stepfather) and recent events.

Client’s ability to think abstractly, organize, and plan is questionable. When he felt like he was being treated unfairly by his company, he temporarily quit his job at Dunder Mifflin to begin his own paper business. The client was unable to secure funding for his business, even from his family, and despite his talented efforts as a salesman, the business was unsustainable. However, he did show potential as a problem solver, skillfully negotiating a buyout of his failing business with Dunder Mifflin.

Motivation is not a strong point for the client, as the client himself noted while holding an office mug, “I don’t wanna work. I just want to bang on this mug all day.” The client’s general fund of knowledge is limited, although he does have considerable skill and knowledge as a salesman. He probably has a low-average to average IQ, with a limited vocabulary (during the session, he confused the word “wedding” with “welding”).

Client’s insight can be poor, as demonstrated when he was asked during a session if he has an incessant need to be liked, “Do I need to liked? Absolutely not. I like being liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.” Although the client usually appears to have good intentions, his judgment can be poor. He recounted an instance where an ex-girlfriend broke up with him because he photo shopped a picture of himself over her ex-husband in a picture of her family for a Christmas card. The client has shown some slight improvement in this area, however, as evidenced by his successful attempts to maintain office morale (there were rumors of the company collapsing) by playing a game. Good or poor, the client displays very creative decision making skills.

He can also be quite impulsive, often to his detriment. He described his proposal to an ex-girlfriend after only nine dates, which resulted in rejection and the eventual ending of the relationship (after the photo shop incident). As for his reliability, it is evident that the client strives to be honest and frank; however, it is clear that he is often out of touch with reality. The client’s inability to accept reality may result from denial or a simple inability to fully understand the world around him. Either way, it is important to take what he says with a grain of salt, and more sessions are definitely needed to help the client learn to embrace the truth (especially when it is unpleasant), to deal with difficult self-worth issues, and learn proper social behavior.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

4 Reasons why the happiest corporation on earth can suck it

"Ok, Chris, you've gone too far this time. In the past, you've made reasonable criticisms of things like Valentine's Day and PETA, but Walt Disney? How could you possibly criticize the man whose work and legacy created countless lovable cartoons and songs...AND THE WORLD'S MOST FAMOUS AND AWESOME THEME PARK?!?!? What, were you deprived Mickey Mouse as a child? Did you not spend enough time "under the sea?" Or have you finally become so bitter that you've simply starting hating goodness itself?"

Whoa Whoa, take it easy. I know criticizing Disney and the inevitable joy his work has brought to children (well, *SPOILER ALERT* white children anyway) may sound crazy, but in reality, the work of Disney has left a dark legacy on American society. Here's how...

4. Horrific Cultural Insensitivity

While I wouldn't call Disney a blatant racist monster, he wouldn't exactly be winning any awards from Dr. King for his work either. For years the rumor has persisted that Walt Disney was antisemitic; although this may not be the case, Disney's persistence in joining groups that were antisemitic has stained his legacy.

"Ok, so he made some bad choices. But no one really knows what his convictions were, and if thats the worst of it I think we can give old Walt a pass, right?"

I agree wholeheartedly; unfortunately, some of Disney's other work is so incredibly offensive we can't give him the benefit of the doubt anymore.

Dumbo Crows- Keep in mind their leader is named "Jim Crow." Haha, I get it. Its funny because black people couldn't vote! Greeaaat.

Also, I'm pretty sure that "red men" stands somewhere in between "savages" and "mindless savages who will scalp you, burn down your village and rape all of your women" on the list of disgustingly offensive Native American stereotypes. Either way, not cool, Disney!

Without a doubt, however, the premiere gem of Disney's family friendly racism can be found in a few early comic strips. I would say "enjoy," but that would really only be appropriate if you're a Neo-NAZI.



"More racist fun can be found here! Yay!"

On the bright side, Walt Disney was cremated, not frozen according to rumor, thus saving future generations an awkward conservation about various human equality movements.


"Yeeaah, Mr. Disney, this is awkward but..."

3. The Disney Corporation loves children, err...some of them.

Now I know I don't usually get political or take controversial stances on anything (you know, except for like every other entry), but here I go anyway.

Both the pro-life and pro-abortion movements acknowledge the Disney Corporation's support of Planned Parenthood.

None of this makes much sense to me. Sure, some people or corporations might be biased or blind enough to ignore all the clear evidence pointing toward the sanctity of human life (I'm still wondering how a living baby with a different set of DNA than its mother can be called "a part of the woman" but alas for another blog entry), but Disney shouldn't have that ax to grind. After all, aren't children ultimately the biggest supporter of Disney?


"Child+manipulative advertising+weak parents+adorable cartoons=$$$!"- actual Disney marketing session


No clever attempts to make a moral argument here...the picture speaks for itself.

2. The Mickey Mouse Club

For those of you who don't know, the Mickey Mouse Club was a sort of variety show for kids that aired in the 1950's, 1970's and 1990's(they really didn't want this show to die apparently). In the show, kids were exposed to moral lessons, cartoons, comedy and so on.

This initially sounds like a cool idea, right? Maybe its not a great fit for kids, but its a good attempt by Disney to steer kids in the right direction during their most impressionable years.

You know what, I'm going to give Disney the benefit of the doubt on this one. Okay guys, this is an awesome idea. In fact, lets take a look at some past members of the Mickey Mouse Club, those noble teenage role models who are directing our children in the proper way to live.


"Not ideal (if by not ideal you mean human train wreck). Nevermind, let's continue."


"No, No, Nooo! Anyone but this douchebag!"

1. Disney encourages eating disorders

Bear with me, this one didn't make sense to me at first either. That is, it didn't make sense to me until I had a rather amusing conversation with a friend concerning the attractiveness of a Disney cartoon princess. This friend was adamant that the Princess Rapunzel from the recent Disney movie Tangled was "gorgeous."


"I love strong-willed princesses whose hair is longer than my entire body!"

Although I was amused at my friend's candor, he had a great point. The vast majority of cartoons, in particular Disney cartoons, present unrealistic ideals of women. I don't really have research to back this up (look at how freakin long this entry is, I'm already on cruise control) but I can't imagine this constant barrage of perfection not having a detrimental effect on the minds and self-esteem of young girls. Disney's insistence to idealize everything to absurd levels, especially concerning appearance and romance, isn't helping anyone, especially the young viewers.

And actually, I did find research. So yeah, once and for all, suck it Disney.

Monday, February 14, 2011

I'm back to tell an old tale...but in a new way

I know, I know, its been about a year since my last entry. What can I say? I'm not proud of it, but I've been busy. Since my last entry, I have transferred from my community college back home to a small liberal arts college in western Pennsylvania. Since then I've met some new people, had a few adventures and hopefully learned something. Anyway, this blog has never been about me (well, actually its entirely about me since I use it to constantly spout my opinions). Never mind then, I'm just done talking about myself and want to get to my point.

Obviously, even my most ardent five fans must have grown sick of me lambasting Valentine's Day every year. In the past, it is possible that I have depicted Valentine's Day in an unflattering light. Rumors have even escalated that I described the day as a means for neglectful couples to buy themselves out of trouble each year, with retailers more than happy to whore out happy feelings and "love" for the right price. I wouldn't know; I don't actually read what I write.

So in light of my past alleged statements concerning Valentine's Day, it would undoubtedly be inappropriate for me to take this opportunity to once again criticize the pointless, consumerist fest that is February 14th.

"Thank you Chris, I'm glad you're going to come up with an original idea to blog about this time. I mean, your last entry on Valentine's Day was great; it inspired me to lock myself in my room for months with my favorite video game/ ice cream flavor/ vague depressing music/ whatever else kids are into nowadays. Nevertheless, I'm glad you have something new with which to enlighten us."


"That's not going to be nearly enough..."

I'm sorry; I was so close to changing topics, but the retailers make it so easy.
If you must, don't think of this as one of my usual rants against Valentine's Day; rather, think of it as my attempt to tear down all of your hopes and dreams concerning Valentine's Day and the commercialism of romance in general.


"Thats so much better."

And today the false hope I seek to tear down revolves around every girl's dream, the diamond ring. It is the symbol, the ultimate representation of the man's love and commitment to the relationship for as long as they both shall live.

Now, I would never suggest that such a priceless symbol of love and devotion resulted from very powerful and manipulative advertising from a corporate powerhouse, but yeah, that's actually exactly what happened. When diamond sales declined in the US during World War 1, DeBeers, a diamond powerhouse that once controlled 80% of the market, singlehandedly sought to revive the practice of manipulating the common man to purchase shiny rocks.

The goal of this advertising campaign, which was to "inculcate in [men's minds] the idea that diamonds were a gift of love: the larger and finer the diamond, the greater the expression of love," was carried out in a variety of nefarious ways. In order to subconsciously suggest the importance of diamonds in romance, diamond rings were consistently portrayed in the media, in particular through movies. These early attacks on the American subconscious were largely successful, resulting in even bolder advertising attacks following World War 2. The goal of this new campaign, centered around the slogan "a diamond is forever," was to "strengthen the tradition of the diamond engagement ring --to make it a psychological necessity."

That's right, the diamond industry is not satisfied with you considering the purchase of one of their products; it has to a necessity, on the same level as food, sleep, and water. Hmmmm....

Throw in all of the recent stories about "blood diamonds" and the diamond industry's complete apathy to countless human rights violations in foreign countries, and you have a story that all of a sudden doesn't feel so good anymore.


"That's all right; enjoy your symbol of 'love.' You never see me so I clearly don't matter."

Now, I'm not telling my male readers to completely forgo tradition and snub their future spouses. Obviously, one has to be realistic, and I would hate to be responsible for all of those failed relationships. I just point this out so that once again, the world can see the pointless consumerism associated with the diamond industry and a certain pseudo-holiday that may or may not take place on February 14th. I refuse to pretend that February 14th represents a good thing, because I foolishly hold love and relationships to a higher standard. A standard where couples actually appreciate each other year round, and don't need a day to salvage their burning train-wrecks of relationships while simultaneously making everyone else feel less important.

Bet you would never have expected me to make an idealist statement like that, huh?

For more fun and cynicism, check out the following Valentine's Day fun...

http://www.cracked.com/article_19039_the-6-most-cynical-exploitations-romantic-love-in-history.html

http://www.theonion.com/video/annual-valentines-day-stoning-of-happy-couple-held,19117/

Monday, February 8, 2010

When the Unconventional Becomes Conventional: 4 Societal Norms that We Never Dare Question

Quite often, we observe people participating in bizarre, almost ritualistic, behaviors. There's the guy who plans to lose 60 pounds by driving to the gym and eating from the "diet" portion of the fast food menu. There's environmentalist groups that are ok with pollution, as long as you purchase carbon credits. Then there are those people who actually watch reality television (I don't judge anyone).

The rest of society observes these odd behaviors from a safe distance, grateful that common logic would protect them from ever making such faulty conclusions. What happens, however, when a misplaced idea is allowed to fester, and eventually acclimate, into societal culture? Listed below are four cultural concepts, all very "right" in our minds, that have little basis in reality.

4. Black History Month

Maybe its just because I don't like February (what am I supposed to watch, hockey?), but isn't segregation generally considered to be a bad thing? Of course its important that African-Americans remember their unique history, culture, and struggles, as well as the countless influential black men and women that played a role in our nation's history. That being said, is this the best means to accomplish these noble goals? Morgan Freeman, who definitely knows more about African-American history and culture than a white college student, doesn't think so.

If we really want to limit all African-American history and accomplishment to one month, can we at least be decent enough to not give them the shortest and coldest month of the year?

3. Feminism

Now I know I'm opening a powder keg with this one. Personally, I once thought feminists existed simply to condemn women who choose to be housewives and keep their unborn children.

However, a recent English course taught me that the skills of the feminist extend far beyond that.

Don't get me wrong. I support the rights of women to vote and hold a career. But modern feminism isn't about promoting those noble goals. No, modern feminism exists solely to chastise and emasculate every male on the planet.

Don't believe me? I wouldn't expect you to just accept what any blabbering fool posts on the internet. Allow me to make my point.

In Gail Godwin's "A Sorrowful Woman," the reader is presented with a rather depressing scenario. The main character, a housewife, suffers from a severe mental illness. She is incapable of performing any tasks, and is too terrified to even interact with her small son for extended periods of time. Her husband, understanding of her difficulty, does everything in his power to help his wife. He provides for the family, performs all housework, and takes care of his son and wife. Overwhelmed, the man hires a nurse to assist with his son...until his wife fires the nurse. None of this angers the man in any way, and he struggles on.

The story ends with the wife trapped in a crazed frenzy, performing ridiculous amounts of housework before opting to end her own life.

To the average, sane reader, this story seems relatively straightforward, right? Very sad, but straightforward.

Well, thanks to deconstructionism (my gosh, I wouldn't know where to start), any story has unlimited different meanings and interpretations. This opened the door wide for my class, which actually suggested that the husband was in some way manipulating and controlling his wife by not seeking proper medical attention for her. Of course, who's to say what "proper" medical attention even was in the story, seeing as how the author presents us with no setting whatsoever. Maybe I'm irrational, but if a character shows no major flaws in a story, I assume that's because the author wanted us to believe that he was a nice guy.

Of course the story opens with the line: "Once upon a time there was a wife and mother too many times." Yes, yes, that's clearly this woman's problem. Not a chemical or emotional imbalance. "No, you just need to get rid of that man who's taking care of you and get yourself a job, honey!"

2. Tipping

Unlike my other ideas, which are at least controversial, no one would argue against tipping in restaurants.

To clarify, I'm not arguing against supporting the kind single-mother waitress struggling to support her two kids. I'm not even arguing against tipping the jerk waiter who never gets your order right. But I do think there are some serious questions to be raised concerning this most odd of rituals...

Like you, I never questioned tipping. That is, until I learned that most restaurants pay their wait staff less than minimum wage, on the assumption that the customer's tips will be adequate for them.

Wait just a minute. The restaurants opt to completely screw over and mistreat their employees, and I'm supposed to pick up the tab? What is the logic behind that? I mean, I don't tip the exploited workers in foreign countries who make basically everything that I, as an American, use. I probably should, but I don't. And no ever talks about that.

Finally, and not to be rude, but if we're really going to reward people, aren't there more worthy professions? Like I don't know, just off the top of my head: firemen, policemen, military personal. But we don't. Do you know why? Because THEIR EMPLOYERS ACTUALLY PAY THEM A DECENT WAGE!!!

Let's not kid ourselves. If we really cared about these people and not about following a blind tradition, we would learn how to cook again and stop visiting establishments that exploit their workforce.

1. Valentine's Day

At last, we arrive to the very epicenter of the insanity. While there was no love lost in my description of Valentine's Day last year, allow me to reiterate some of my key points.

Valentine's Day, once a Catholic holiday designed to honor a saint, has now become nothing more than a commercialized corporate lie designed to convince single people that there is something wrong with them. "Oh, your wife died 3 months ago? Probably because you didn't love her enough. Go spend $100 on thorny weeds and throw your hat back into the dating ring."

Yes, I exaggerate, but the sad thing is, not by much. Valentine's Day brings in almost 14 billion annually Yes. 14 billion.

Forgive me, because I know little of relationships, but when did love become solely about the accumulation of possessions? My gosh, if couples stopped neglecting each other the other 364 days of the year, maybe we wouldn't even need a Valentine's Day.

"Is this the message that you want to send your kids, random couple reading this? That love is measured by price tags and worthless trinkets?"

Now I'm all for gift-giving, but something about a day that makes single people feel like crap and causes the wealthiest nation on earth to waste 14 billion dollars offends me.

Also, I'm still pushing for the implementation of the South Korean singles day, Black Day, in the US. I've had little luck thus far...maybe if I had 14 billion dollars?

Sunday, September 13, 2009

"We Must All Hang Together, or Most Assuredly We Will All Hang Seperately."

Once again, I must offer my apologies for my complete lack of posts over the last few months. Ever since I actually started doing productive things with my time, aka working and taking classes again, I have found that I am hard pressed to waste as much time as I once did. Its been challenging to find the time to add to my blog.

Almost a week ago, President Obama once again interrupted our lives with a prime time speech, this time to back his new health care plan and admonish anyone who dares question him. During his speech, the typical signs of American partisanship were present, with the majority of Congress standing and clapping after every sentence while a few protesting GOP remained seated and fiddled with their Blackberrys. This is pretty normal; and let's be honest, it makes it far easier for us to pretend we actually recognize the different politicians and their political ideologies.




"No, no, This doesn't sit well with me at all."



"I clearly hang on to the President's every word, and only hope I some day have the privilege of sacrificing my firstborn on the alter of Obama."


What is not normal or accepted is shouting down the leader of the free world during his address to Congress. Apparently South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson never got this memo. In response to President Obama's comment that his new health care plan would not assist illegal immigrants, Wilson shouted out "You Lie!" Apparently Wilson also never got the memo declaring Obama divine, and thus, incapable of deception.

If you haven't caught on that I'm being sarcastic, well then, I'm sorry, but no one can help you.

Anyway, one can picture my internal conflict over Rep. Wilson's outburst. I don't think winning an election or taking an oath guarantees the all-encompassing wisdom, thick pockets, or even trustworthiness that the American populace attributes to Obama without question. However, at the same time, I believe the office of president deserves a certain level of respect, and if the tables were turned I would be outraged by Wilson's blatant disrespect.

I think its fitting that this incident occurred around the 8th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. It just goes to show that no matter how "enlightened" we
dare think of ourselves as Americans, we've really learned nothing.

I mean, does it really take a national tragedy for us to get along? We're so splintered as a society. There's hundreds of issues and a party to promise what you want to hear concerning each one. These problems and divisions aren't new. But right after 9/11, none of them seemed to matter.

One of the most powerful images of this unity was President Bush throwing out the first pitch in the 2001 World Series at Yankee Stadium.



This may seem like an odd choice, but it was the ultimate representation of American strength and unity. It told the world, amidst the thousands of cheers, that our way of life: our freedom, our unity, and yes, our game, would continue no matter what.

By no means should this unity be achieved through the sacrifice of personal opinions and beliefs; I simply ask that we at least assume the other side of the political aisle also has the best interests of their country at heart. This may not always be the case, but really, Rep. Wilson, change can be achieved in more civil ways than shouting matches. Just look at the President.

And to the President, GOP attacks aren't just fear-mongering. Perhaps we really do feel that a public option represents too much government control over our lives. Does that make us worse Americans? Keep that in mind the next time you try to dismiss us.

Wow, this whole civility thing is more difficult than I thought. Oh well, I guess if children can do it the rest of us will figure it out eventually. Rep. Wilson, go to your corner and stay there until you can learn to play nicely with the liberals.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Our priorities are blind...Justice can see quite well, thank you very much.

First of all, I would like to apologize to my one and a half readers who were undoubtedly quite jaunted by my lack of blogging over the past few months. What's that? Oh my, I'm so sorry. I had no idea...Make that my one reader. Anyway, some recent absurdities helped me once again realize the importance of my blog, the straight jacket containing our constantly crazy, babbling world from the brink of utter destruction.

Before that little tirade actually sinks in and you stop reading, allow me to get to my story...

Without a doubt, any NFL fan remembers former QB Micheal Vick, who was all but crucified by PETA for running a dogfighting ring. As a result of his horrific maltreatment of animals, he all but ruined his NFL career and was sentenced to serve 23 months in prison.

NFL Pro Bowl - AFC-NFC Practice
"PETA thinks I'm black Hitler!"

The story that many NFL fans have not heard, however, centers around Browns wideout Donte Stallworth. "What happened with Donte Stallworth?" you ask. "No one told me anything about him. Oh, don't tell me he hurt poor doggies too."

Rent-A-Dog Booms In Japan
Micheal Vick doesn't love you.

Not to fear, random fan or PETA. Donte Stallworth is not Micheal Vick. Nah, all Stallworth did was run some poor guy over during a drunken joyride. Sure, the guy died, but he wasn't famous or furry, so who gives a crap, right?

Rent-A-Dog Booms In Japan
Mario Reyes, you're not important enough to picture here...Let's see the cute dog again.

Well, this particular writer certainly does. And seeing how justice is supposed to be, oh I don't know, just, I naively assumed the criminal justice system would as well.

Imagine my chagrin and disillusionment when I learned of the punishment for accidentally killing a man: 30 days in prison.
"Wait, that's not years, or even months?!?!"
No, poor fool forced to live in this twisted time, its not.
"And he really did kill a guy when driving drunk?"
Yep, yep, he most definitely did.

To make matters worse, news sources indicate that Stallworth received his lessened sentence in part because of a financial settlement that he reached with the victim's family. Call me old-fashioned all you like, but I also cling to the silly notion that a crime is a crime, no matter how thick the criminal's pockets are.

NFL Cleveland Browns vs. Baltimore Ravens
"I have money, so I can do whatever the hell I want. Better watch out for me!"

Now its true that Stallworth also got his license suspended for life and has to serve 8 years under probation, but considering the average sentence of 10 years for DUI manslaughter, I'm not exactly shedding any tears for the guy.

And all of this, of course, comes in the backdrop of Micheal Vick's harsh sentence all but mandated by PETA militants and the harsh criticisms of Plaxico Burress' illegal gun ownership by NYC mayor Bloomberg. So are we giving athletes preferential treatment or not, America? Or do we simply not care about DUI manslaughters? I find that hard to believe, given the nation's outraged response to the tragic death of Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart at the hand of a drunk driver earlier this year.

While the stories of OJ, Ray Lewis, Leonard Little and countless others reaffirm the reality that justice is never blind and usually slanted in favor of those with money and fame, I think we have another problem here, a problem of misplaced priorities as a society.

Meet PETA, a shining example of just how misplaced our priorities actually are (I think we just flat out lost our priorities at this point). After the Micheal Vick incident, PETA ruthlessly hunted and hounded this man in a manner they would have deemed cruel had Vick been an animal.

Michael Vick Summoned to Federal Court
"You're not Bob Barker. Only he has earned the right to tell us who to neuter!"

Before I continue, I would like to clarify that I DO NOT condone dogfighting. While man is given dominion over this world and its animals, needless cruelty is needless cruelty, and I will not defend the actions of Micheal Vick. However, any organization that tells me I don't have the right to eat a hamburger or wear a wool shirt clearly has lost their perspective. I mean, in a chaotic world filled with human starvation, war, murder, and injustice, and you rant about "Kentucky Fried Cruelty" and expect to be taken seriously?

In their most ridiculous move yet, PETA criticized President Obama for swatting a pesky fly during an interview. Not only that, but they are actually sending the president a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Cather, a sinister device designed to preserve the lives of all those pesky, disease-carrying, picnic-ruining insects. But hey, I'm sure if you're really sweet to that poor little mosquito, he won't give you West Nile. Oh silly silly PETA, how America and I laugh at you.


Close-Up Of Mosquitoes
"I'm slowly plotting your demise."


Or at least we would be laughing if not for the 2 million Americans who actually agree with you. Just read a few of the comments on their website, and tell me you're not seriously frightened about the future of our country.

"How come you get put in jail for murdering a human, but murder an animal and it's fine?"

I imagine Michael Vick wishes he killed a man; the sentence would have been lighter.


"Animal Rights must be part of the school curriculum and be incorporated in the coursework of law students in all universities globally!"

But will the animals have to take the stand? We need a cow interpreter in Courtroom 2!


"Animal rights should be protected and enshrined in the Constitution in every country in the world."

Why don't we make sure all nations respect basic human rights in their constitutions first? Just a thought.


"animals deserve to have rights more than humans do, because they are never going to have bad intentions, just like humans do"

So you're saying that animals are actually better than we are because they never are violent? Oh, wait...


"Everything living, has a soul. Respect the Life and rights of all creatures. Cohabitate with life. The planet and its genus."

Are you advocating bestiality?


In response to PETA's unexplainable success, I advocate the formation of PETP, People for the Ethical Treatment of People. Maybe we can actually accomplish some good. Also, I want to form another group with the initials PETA, People Eating Tasty Animals. I know its an old joke, but imagine how pissed the animal rights activists would be when they try to search for the website of their organization and instead come across a picture of some fat guy eating a bacon cheeseburger.

Thinkstock Single Image Set
"I'm going to single-handedly bring down PETA, not because I want to eat all this food, but because I feel called to use my humble fork to end the madness."

In the meanwhile, make it your goal to combat the insanity. Eat a hamburger today, and only buy certified wool or leather clothing.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Pretty cool, just don't see the movie

It's not very often that I get fan art, so I thought I would display a few works of my blog's one confirmed regular reader. One fan and counting...Yes!





http://i586.photobucket.com/albums/ss308/HerzeleidAER/Kovacsismyhomeboy.jpg
For sending pieces of fan work, or contacting the author of this blog, please send to: Stephdaddy4ever@yahoo.com.